I never leave the apartment anymore, because the outdoors have become a frightening dystopia. My childhood quarters have been utterly ruined with tasteless buildings and soulless (and dangerous) people. It just so happens to be a location where the houses cost a lot of money (in spite of all the destruction), and so I'm seriously considering moving somewhere far away where there's few or no people, where the houses are much cheaper to buy. Why pay a massive premium just to keep living where I feel horribly depressed every time I look outside? (Not to mention I'm not rich by any means.)

But the problem is that not only do I not have a car or a driver's license, but I'm never going to be able to get either. While not diagnosed, I just feel that I'm not fit to drive a big motor vehicle on the roads myself. Especially not as I self-medicate daily, which is necessary due to horrible physical pain. I did some practice-driving many years ago on a parking lot, but just the thought of going out into traffic frightens me. I know myself and I'm sure that I would "black out" or forget some traffic rule or something like that. I realize that a lot of very "stupid" people do manage to get a driver's license, but I also know that a lot of people end up in accidents. I'd preferably not even ride a car if I can help it, especially with all the camera and mics and stuff they pack them full of these days.

Since I doubt that any food/grocery delivery service delivers outside of major cities, this poses a massive problem for me. Of course, it would be technically possible to pay for a taxi to drive to my place, pick me up, drive to some store, wait for me as I shop, and then drive me home, but that would likely cost a fortune in the long run. Possibly even so much as to offset the "gains" of living so remotely and thus cheaply.

Assuming that there's no breakthrough with an actual self-driving, affordable car being announced tomorrow which doesn't even have a wheel and doesn't require any human to do anything but input the destination on a big interactive map in the front, and that no food delivery service starts offering remote drone deliveries or packages dropped from a fly-by airplane with little parachutes attached to them, how would somebody solve this?

I have no friends or family members who could help me.

I fear that the answer will be: "You're out of luck. All the people in your situation drive a car." I'm always like that; falling between two "categories" of people, not fitting into either one. But maybe there's something I haven't thought of?

I want to stress that I'm not the "Rambo" type who runs around in the woods with a knife and stabs bears for dinner. Not only do I not own any weapon, but I could never shoot "Bambi" even if I did have one, and a license, and bullets, and training, and... everything is just such a bureaucratic mess. I would likely not survive at all if forced to "become a hunter". Perhaps I could grow some tomatoes and whatnot, but I strongly doubt that I could produce enough to actually survive from that alone. I frankly also have so little energy left that the thought of "farming" just makes me exhausted. (But I also recognize that it's probably very rewarding and "recreative".)

I hate loud neighbours and people shouting and screaming outside my window, but total silence in a remote wooden cabin also seems likely to drive me insane eventually. All of this would've been so much easier if I had a partner with whom to "escape from society"; now that I'm on my own, I can't take advantage of a theoretical partner's ability to drive a car, combined money, varied interests complementing each other, etc. (I wasted a huge amount of my life trying to find a girl, and at this point, it's a closed chapter.)

What to do in this kind of situation? I've spent so many sleepless nights going over this in my head, again and again, but I just can't see any kind of solution which doesn't just consist of me stuffed into some other corner nearby from here, with loud people all around and no ability to take walks and spend time outdoors on my own plot away from cameras and thieves. I fully recognize that there probably is no solution.

  • 3
    I’m voting to close this question because by your own admissions you cannot survive outside an urban community. Commented Mar 7, 2021 at 23:05
  • Villages with a store to walk to might work...
    – Jon Custer
    Commented Mar 7, 2021 at 23:49
  • How remote are you talking? Tucked away down a country lane not too far from a town/shop you could cycle, and a weekly shop can fit on a normal bike (I often do that though driving is an option). Or hike to a bus route. An occasional hike to town/taxi back to stock up on heavy stuff like tins is a big help too.
    – Chris H
    Commented Mar 8, 2021 at 6:57
  • The converse of living in an urban environment isn't to live in complete isolation, and while the fear of driving a car is reasonable, extending that to never being in a car is not. I suggest you find a more interactive site than SE where you can discuss the problems (assuming that consulting a medical practitioner is not an option). Commented Mar 8, 2021 at 15:45
  • Good to see you searching for options, I hope you find some solutions. In Australia shopping is a bit more expensive in the country. I know people who mostly cannot leave their apartments, they have delivery services, and during the lockdown last year they banded together to have people shop for them. Perhaps you can find other people with the same situation and see how they improve their lives. Good luck! Commented Mar 13, 2021 at 8:51

1 Answer 1


While your question is possibly considered off-topic for this site, you raise some interesting points.

First of all: Please seek professional medical help. A lack of energy and not leaving your apartment indicate that you might have depression. While I am neither a qualified medical professional nor a qualified mental health professional, I strongly suggest that you talk to either or both about your issues, including drug use. It may be that you have an underlying health condition (constant pain is certainly something...) that is affecting your quality of life and can be easily treated.

Now, on the topic of how people survive with no frequent access to food re-supply?

Well, there are a few answers, most of them involve physical work. Throughout history people have needed to work to get their food, generally through either growing it themselves and/or through co-operating with someone to get the items they want.

As you indicate that you would be unable to kill and butcher an animal, you would need to become proficient in growing vegetables, fruit and possibly nuts and/or grains, depending on how independent/isolated you want to be.

There are may ways to become skilled at such things, including in an apartment environment. All it takes are some pots, some potting mix/seed mix, seeds and/or seedlings, water, and a window. Even better is to have a balcony or access to a safe outdoor area. For a complete novice, I suggest growing something tasty and edible like mustard cress, which you can literally sprinkle over the surface of some potting mix or seed mix (or even a paper towel) and gently water once a day.

Beans, peas and radishes are also easily grown in pots, as are squash/zucchini/pumpkin (though these take up lots of space). Lots of garden herbs like basil, rosemary, thyme and oregano are also fairly easy to grow in a pot and can make your room smell wonderful. A bit of practice with these and you will be capable of growing them outside in the soil too and of moving on to more difficult and larger plants.

Another, perhaps less useful, option are flowers, cacti and succulents, which essentially take the same steps, just cacti and succulents need much less frequent watering.

As for the co-operation:

If someone has something that you need or want, you can arrange to get it from them - you do this now with your shopping - you hand over money, they give you goods. However, you can do this with anything - say your neighbour has a car, you could ask if you can tag along on their shopping trips, perhaps paying for some gas/petrol or giving them something in return - food from your garden, or a hand with weeding their garden, washing their car, looking after a pet while they are away. You can also apply this to items from their garden/farm - you want some of their beef, give them some of your tomatoes, or bake them a cake, even just straight-up paying for what you get.

The really cool thing about co-operation is that it involves interaction, so it's not just about handing over money, it is about creating a relationship with other people, so that you can come to a mutual agreement about what you trade, be it your time/help, food, money. Sometimes all it takes is a one-off surprise help - you see that their dog has run over to your yard, and you can catch and return it. This creates goodwill from the neighbour, which is one part of a relationship.

We all have skills that can be traded for one thing or another, be it help with setting up a wifi router, or digging a hole, or changing a tyre, and you never know, that person you help, might just end up being your best friend.

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